RUN 1445 – Orlando’s/The Buffers at SCHOLES - Pansy and Rapunzel the hares.
Entitled another Pansy/Rapunzel catastrophy………………………….
The pack were assembling in the car park on a cold and frosty morning but with the sun rising it was getting slightly above freezing but a healthy pack all wrapped up to face the elements. Rambo was driving into the car park and the pack had thee back to him as he slowly crept up behind Henry Root – a golden opportunity until Henry was moved by Everready to safety.
There were four new boots Half Pints (half the original half pint size!) Bouncing bomber (aptly named!!) Clara and Gasper from Horsforth and even after this disaster still want to come again…………..true hashers.
One half of the Hare team was present – Pansy – Rapunzel was lost en-rout or not as fast a cyclist as he thought he was. After the pre-hash speech and explanation it was On On out of the car park and the FRB’s were on the case Rambo Magnum Jack Tar and Grope
and Candy. The on on was called and out into the countryside we went to the first check.
Candy and Grope went one way Rambo and Magnum the other and the first falsies of the day were found. The pack had cought up and Grope had finally found the trail and it was on on again – the knitting circle was in evidence Wheels, Evers, Cheesy, Henry Root and new boots Gasper all talking ten to the dozen…….the polecats had their own circle 19th, Ginger, Smutters and Annie. Down the slippery track and through the smelly farmyard – a funny sight was seen a handbrush and dustpan full of horse shite – the mind boggles at what goes on down on the farm. Up the lane and onto the check – Candy was last seen trying to cross the A64 like a frightened chicken, Grope was lost again and Jack Tar was the lucky hasher who was “on trail” one of the new boots aptly named Half Pints wanted to know if we were at the Beer Stop yet!! That very young lady will need watching in later life.
On on again down yet another frozen track and upto the A64. The pack was now divided into 3 and Pansy was leading!! Poor groups 2 and 3 were miles behind ……..across the very busy road and into the woods where the sun had got through and slightly warmed the ground into a shiggy mess, Lots of ice in the ruts and deep water if stood on aka Rambo’s left trainer now soaked and freezing! The FRB’s were lost and the front group now included Cheesy and Evers who had had enough of the knitting circle and moved on up through the field. On asking Pansy where the other two groups where he replied just behind us………on glancing back they were nowhere in site. Grope stumbled upon some flour and the FRB’s were off and running again on a delightful track through the woods (good summer trail me thinks) and on on to the TEA STOP! For those who are in the know it was the big red bus in the layby on the A64……….one hour to get here but a hot cuppa was welcome. The FRB’s had finished before the two other packs arrived along with the missing Hare Rapunzel. Cheesy was miffed they were using his name in vain by smothering the chips with cheese – ake CHEESY CHIPS!! Evers ever the wit also saw a sign at the back of the bus saying ARSE baps………now can you imagine Arse Baps with yer cheesy chips - doesn’t bear thinking about. Wheels took his tea cosy hat off and topped everyone up with more tea. The Knitting circle and Polecat gang were just about thawed out when the On On was called and Rambo Grope Annie Magnum and Candy once again took their life in their hands crossing an even busier A64 to get back on trail. The rest were still trying to cross the road whilst the FRB’s where galloping off across country once again. The field was very slippy and ankle breaking ruts were the order of the day again. On On to the check which was obvious as it was a private keep out sign on two of the options!! So on on up the hill in very bright sunshine
The pack were once again in disarray and not even in sight from the top of the hill – what goes up has to go down and it was funny seeing Grope and Magnum hit the dust well errr MUD after trying to stop after missing the gap where the track went. Over the bridge and up another hill and int Barrack in Helmet through a sneaky ginnel which came out at the back of the Swan and another welcome break. The FRB’s had downed the obligatory pint before Rapunzel and a bit of the following pack aka evers and cheesy. We were getting cold sat outside so the FRB’s were on the move again and off we went round the front of the pub and lo and behold the rest of the pack were there LOST with the co-hare Pansy taking them into the Gasgoine……now if the Hare doesn’t know where the beer stop is.
On upto the Roman fort hill for a hash view and then back onto the trail to Scholes down one lane for about 2 miles with nice countryside to look at but a long straight line.
Annie and Magnum were first back followed by Rambo and Candy, about thirty minutes later Grope arrived after being lost yet again and doing about an extra mile by coming the road way lol, Annie and Magnum had to go and left Rambo Grope and the GM eagerly awaiting the arrival of the gang and at 1415 – yes 1415hrs the gang finally arrived 3 and a ¼ hours after setting off. Poor Clara and Half Pints were shattered and their little legs all done in.
The down downs were ordered and back out into the freezing cold Evers and Cheesy the doing the honours (now renamed John Terry and Tiger Woods – cant think why – perhaps matrimonial misdeameaners at some time !!). Then back into the pub for a welcome slice or two of Pizza or in Pansy’s case 6 or 8 outscoffing Henry and 19th Hole.
Another far too long trail and spread out with no welcome shortcuts for those who needed them. A good summer run but the crossing of the A64 (I.E a regroup and do it all together) could be looked at.
On On to the Manor at Otley.
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