Run Number: 1216 Hare: Love Muscle Venue: Thatched House
The post AGPU cobweb run was attended by the pack consisting of: Rambo, Matilda, Creamy Ring, Wonky Donkey, Anne Bolynne, Wheels, Rapunzel, Grope, Black Widow and the newly elected GM - Lick it up, there was a non runner - Wet Patch (still recovering from her pulled muscle)
With the pack all gathered at what is more and more becoming a local, the Thatched House at Stanley, the pre run speech was given by Love Muscle and the lying barsteward told us it was an easy run and he had laid the trail in about an hour!! Rambo was honoured by being invited to carry the Hash Horn so with large torch in one hand and Horn in other the pack set of into the cold dark night, heading off into the concrete jungle of Stanley with the FRBs Rambo, Matilda, Wheels and Rapunzle setting about the trail at a blazing pace – Rambo and Wheels were soon on the “on on” (inside local knowledge!!) and off up the hill into the cold night. First check and Rambo Wheels, Rapunzel and Matilda were soon on the WRONG trails and playing catch up with the walking pack. The next check proved just as difficult (local knowledge out of the window) and on on down past the playing fields to the main road, Rambo checked correctly and went on up the hill blowing the Hash Horn with gay abandon at every opportunity. The next Check was found by Rambo and then into the darkness of the fields through the shiggy. At this point a terrible accident occurred – Rambo and part of the horn parted company!! Disaster you may think but NO the Rambo man has big torch and soon found missing part, now picture the scene – pitch black with nobody in sight save Wheels little torchlight back in the distance – try putting a horn back together in the pitch dark!! Many curses later and with Wheels bearing down the horn was fixed and blowing with abandon again - on on to the next check – Rapunzel had caught up again but no sign of the walking pack. After about 5 mins and no flour and about 45 mins from home and loaded with local knowledge we decided to go left!! A voice from the distance called that the on on was to the right – now man with local knowledge knew the path well and definitely not in the direction of the pub…………….Rambo, Wheels and Rapunzel (Matilda was missing at this point – presumably still suffering from the weekends activities) played the game and struck out once more up yet another shiggy track in an uphill direction! The check was at the top and two directions to go – Rapunzel went down the hill and Wheels up the hill, Rambo with now working Hash Horn playing middle man – Wheels won the day and on on up the hill towards Pinderfields Hospital, bloody miles away from the pub!. The next check came down to local knowledge and use of big torch!! Snicket found and on on down across the golf course, Rambo and Rapunzel striding out and leaving poor Wheels behind. On on down the hill we went, onto the next check – on on through the woods, big torch in its element and Hash Horn blaring. Rapunzel ran on and Rambo had to lurk in the woods waiting to rescue Wheels who appeared to be scared of the wood elves in the dark. Wheels was rescued and the next check came upon us very quickly – Rapunzel was heard but not seen (later admitted to finding the trail we had already been on! But he soon turned tail and found the right trail). Wheels and Rambo then went on the long run in back to the Thatch.
It was nice to be back in the warmth of the pub and with roaring fire and pint in hand we awaited the arrival of the walking pack and some 1 hour AND 45 minutes after they left they arrived! General chit chat ensued until it was time for the down downs the first one was for the Hare – Love Muscle and if he laid that trail in one hour then as quoted by one of the pack “he must have done it in a fuxxing Ferrari” 2nd down down went to Creamy Ring who was supposed to have helped lay the trail with Love Muscle but was the “non hare” (stats take note – she was absent!!) now the 3rd down down went to none other than the newly elected GM!! Matilda had gone to pay his room bill at the Oaks and low and behold it had been paid for him by an “oldish lady with glasses and grey hair” Matilda thought he had a secret benefactor then asked if all bills had been paid – there is one outstanding sir – oh and who’s might that be then? lady in room 208!! Well Matilda had been residing in 206 and how much is that bill sir - £45 pounds more than yours was the reply!! Matilda being the gentleman he is paid up and brought the newly crowned GM her bill. Now if this is how the new GM is going to behave after one day – what chance do we have of having a Hash left after her tenure!! The last down down went to Rambo – who when passing the Hash Horn back to Love Muscle casually mentioned the end was loose so was down downed for Horn abuse!! After the down down Love Muscle revealed it had happened at AGPU!!
The pack have nominated Love Muscle as the dickhead of the year so far with the length of the Hash on the Monday night and Lying at the pre hash speech. He has to be reminded about length of run times!!
All in all a good hit out after the AGPU weekend.
ANON
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